I need a wrangler

I graduate later today which means I've got people in town. That means I've got a five year old and an almost 2 year old, not to mention to 60 year olds, two 50 somethings, a 30 year old and my hot young thing wife. That's a lot of free-spirit types wandering around fairly aimlessly. They make me tired. Mostly the 5 year old makes me tired. If I have any willing wranglers out there, let me know.